Gonna Sip Bacardi Like It's My Birthday Part 1

Thank y'all for the birthday wishes. I had a blast. Speaking of "y'all," I was just debating someone over the proper spelling of the phrase. I believe the apostrophe should take the place of the missing letters "o" and "u." My friend argued that the contraction should be written out how it's pronounced (ya'll). He ranted on about how the "Yankee grammar Nazis" from the north should have no say so in dictating the spelling of a phrase they never use. My friend has a point, but he is from Texas, and his elitist "everything's bigger, don't mess with Texas" attitude is the reason why we should build a wall around everything in Texas except for Austin and isolate them from the rest of the country. Interesting to note: This person was in the national spelling bee on ESPN when he was younger.

The "Birthday Tour" Kicked off Friday night (March 14) with Cowboy Mouth at the 9:30 Club on V St. in Washington, D.C. Cowboy Mouth is from New Orleans, and they made a career primarily touring across the south. The person I was originally going to the show with backed out at the last minute. As a result, I spent most of the day trying to find someone to take the ticket that was already paid for, and it was more difficult than it sounds. I found a fellow intern who had never heard of Cowboy Mouth, but had nothing better to do and decided to go.

We pre-gamed at a bar down the street from the 9:30 Club called DC9, a small venue for local music. After briefly scanning over the menu, I noticed they carried Schlitz in a can, which is about as hard to find in D.C. as interesting people and bars with character. I instantly became a fan of DC9 and proceeded to get Schlitz-faced. Several shots of whiskey and a few beers later, we stumbled into the 9:30 Club.

Cross Canadian Ragweed opened the show. I had never been a fan but they were impressive live. Regardless of any preconceived notions, it's hard not to get caught up in the overall vibe when there's live music and people are having a good time. The crowd was very diverse and ranged from Virginia rednecks to G.I.'s and frat boys. It's very rare that you're fortunate enough to experience such a diverse group of people that are so happy to be in one particular place at one particular moment in time. Moments like these are what people should live for, and I feel terribly sorry for anyone that's never experienced this.

We made several trips to the downstairs bar during Cross Canadian Ragweed (which I almost abbreviated as "CCR" before asking the person next to me to kick me in the balls for the thought even crossing my mind) to shoot whiskey and cool off. When Cowboy Mouth took the stage, I wanted to be in the front and I wasn't going to want to leave for drinks. My goal was to get as belligerent as possible before they came on, and I succeeded.

The closer it got to Cowboy Mouth, the more LSU T-shirts and Saints jersey's I saw in the crowd. I was in heaven and I wasn't going to let anything bring me down, including the intern who didn't appear to be having a good time and already told me that she didn't like "this kind of music." When Cowboy Mouth takes the stage, everyone around you becomes your best friend. It's not about the music as much as it is about a large group of friends and strangers leaving all of their negativity and preconceptions at the door and having the time of their lives with people they've never seen before, and probably never will again. Cowboy Mouth channels these moments very well, but I don't want this to turn into a concert review, I just hope my guest got a taste of this. After the show, I talked to the lead singer Fred Leblanc. He told me I needed to quit whatever I was doing and come back to Louisiana. I didn't argue.

I ditched my guest after the show and met up with some friends in Adams Morgan. The whiskey had taken hold long ago, and my minutes were numbered. We stepped in to a bar called the Asylum around 2:00 A.M. I try really hard to like the "rock n' roll lounge." I've given it several chances but something always goes wrong. The last time I was there, I was thrown out for arguing with a bouncer about the technicalities of a law that prevents you from leaving the bar with an alcoholic beverage (I never left the building, but I walked out the bar door into the lobby). This resulted from them not allowing a friend of mine re-entry for being "too drunk." I threatened to sue for false advertising, because in my opinion, strictly enforcing already unreasonable laws is not very "rock n' roll."

So I'm back at the "rock n' roll lounge" and I order a beer around 2:30 A.M. They immediately make last-call, and A bouncer approaches me. He informs me that if I didn't immediately down the beer that they just sold to me, he would snatch it from my hand and throw it in the garbage. That was a problem.

A minute later, we're walking down the sidewalk trying to find food while I was being fussed for getting us kicked out of the bar. I don't remember much after this, but we found a 24-hour diner close by. Apparently, we had to leave because I was throwing toast at someone.